The Peppermint Outpost

As you know, I have always been of at least two minds about the concept of ample parking. While it does prevent my driver from having to circle eternally around the grounds like some airliner that cannot land, a lot with numerous empty spaces does not give me much confidence in a restaurant's quality. And so I was pleased to see that the five-level parking deck of the Peppermint Outpost was filled to capacity. The reflective sign above the gate (complete with candystriped arm--how clever they are!) proclaimed: "The Peppermint Outpost--where the palate cleanser IS the meal!" I found that charming beyond belief--or else utterly nauseating, I can't decide yet. On swiping my food critic's badge, my driver brought me into the deck and dropped me off at the steel door of the Peppermint Outpost. Thankfully, the interior to the restaurant is less thuggish than the exterior. A wintry decor dominated, complete with fur-lined ice skates hanging from the silvery walls. I was graciously seated by myself at a long table in a conference room where I could dine in peace. The waitron, Miss Figalilly, plumped a comfortable down pillow before me, upon which she then set a clock-sized peppermint candy, different in degree more than kind from the wonderful Brach's peppermint Star Brites of my childhood. I was given a set of mineralogical tools to break the mint up into bite-sized pieces. This was no pillow-shaped mint on my pillow! The next course was a wonderful peppermint bark, laid out beautifully in strips on--this time--an actual plate or dish of some kind. The bark was a bit dry and stringy, but I choked only once or twice, and the manager, Mr. Everett, was quite accomplished in the Heisman trophy maneuver, or whatever. As a palate cleanser to the palate cleanser, in infinite regress, so to speak, and in keeping with the arboreal leitmotiv, I was served some wonderful spearmint jelly leaves washed down by a gentle rainfall of herbal peppermint tea. While I had never enjoyed hot tea dispensed from a showerhead before, I did find the experience remarkable. And so, overall, I am happy to report that the Peppermint Outpost fully earns a grade of Five Ice-Blue Mints!