Friday, October 1, 2010

Objets Cachés

There's nothing puzzling about why Objets Cachés has become one of the hottest restaurants in the region. I dined there last evening and found it a wonderful combination of diabolical puzzles and delicious fare.

When you walk into Objets Cachés, you realize the restaurant is well-furnished and entirely empty of guests. Doors open onto a balcony, and a fresh breeze blows in. The furnishings are formal yet home-like. It's seemingly a place that would attract a large post-church crowd. The sandstone fireplace has no fire in it, but it charms nonetheless.

The host greets you and hands you a piece of parchment. You look down at it, expecting perhaps a menu or wine list. Instead you see a list of objects:

Conch shell, transistor radio, bubble, armadillo, hot-air balloon, ghost, clock, razor, basket, rose, wagon wheel, tongs, extension cord, flame, rug, newspaper, witch, glue pot, shoes, brick, whale, hog, tape dispenser, star, bar of soap, crown, heart, goose, diploma, castle, aardvark, vinyl record, plow, and rabbit.

Huh?

"This way, please," the host says, leading you past the dark paneling and into a dining room.

The dining room is a jumble of clutter. You can't even make your way to your table. It's as though one of those hoarders on television had decided to open up a restaurant.

"Is this your first time at Objets?" the host asks. When you state that it is, the host tells you: "Before you are allowed to dine, you must find all the hidden objects on that list. They're all hidden somewhere in the dining room. As you find each one, it will disappear. For example, over there is the bar of soap!" The host points to a bar of soap that has been cunningly camouflaged in the ceiling. A fiery red line races across the phrase "bar of soap" on the parchment and the soap itself vanishes. "When you've found everything, you will be allowed to eat."

Now I understand the sign above the entrance to Objets Cachés: HE WHO DOES NOT SOLVE, DOES NOT EAT.

He handed the parchment to me and vanished like the bar of soap. I got down to the job of finding these objects, because I was truly hungry. My stomach was growling and I felt light-headed.

I pored over the jumble of objects, looking for an armadillo, tape dispenser, hot-air balloon. Try as I might, I was able only to spy those objects which were not on the list: a toy truck, a pack of cards, an oil well, shaving cream, a fence, a croquet mallet, a fish...these popped out at me, but none of them were on the list of hidden objects, and thus none of them were bringing me any closer to my meal. I mumbled the names of objects over and over as my bleary gaze moved around the room, up and down, across and over, the things all blurring together, merging, fading, sharpening tantalizingly into a shape that quickly turned out to be a mirage. No, that isn't an armadillo--it's a roll of aluminum foil! Foiled again!

Suddenly, an owl descended from the ceiling. Its eyes were glowing a bright burnt orange. I looked on the list but saw no owl. "Where on earth is the hog?" The owl perched on the back of a hog. Was this owl my helper?

The host chuckled as he stepped into the dining room. "I see you've found the owl...when you get truly desperate, ask him for a hint."

I became more and more drawn into the game. It was like a case of tunnel vision. The entire universe had shrunken into this game of hidden objects. It became a mania for me. I must find the wagon wheel!

More time passed, and I was no closer to my goal. The owl could only do so much. Finally, at the point of giving up, I began to catch on...the objects were not placed logically around the room. The whale may not be in an ocean, but instead may be on top of a globe. The hog needn't be in a pen. Once I comprehended this concept, the game became much easier.

It may have been five or six hours later that I finally sat down to my meal. Thankfully, I was able to solve the puzzle before I collapsed of hunger.

For my entree, I chose the sand dabs--they were excellent! In fact, I'm still spitting grains of sand from my tongue even now! The wine was outstanding--I don't usually enjoy Wine Floats, but for some reason the scoop of pistachio ice cream floating in Cabernet was marvelous! For dessert, I barely tolerated the Unflavored Custard--I don't recommend it!

Overall, my dining experience at Objets Cachés was pleasing, but I perhaps would have enjoyed a less challenging puzzle as an obstacle to satisfying my hunger. Also, I was unimpressed with the dessert.

And so, I give Objets Cachés a not entirely enthusiastic Four Armadillos!